Malaria and Me...Part 2!

Continued story from my previous blog which you can read here: http://katlynapollock.blogspot.com/2015/09/malaria-and-mepart-1.html

…..They told me I would be in the hospital for three days because the treatment needed to be extensive. Once they began treatment I was quite scared. Normally, in American hospitals they would hook you up to a heart monitor and possibly oxygen and so on...well in Kenya they just hook you right up to the treatment and go for it. (without having any of my prior medical records) As soon as the medicine began to drip, my heart began to race so fast that I was sure that was the end of me. I was struggling to breathe and stay calm. The doctors however continued to assure me “you will be fine”. These words began to haunt me. Every doctor or nurse or just random person walking by would say “you will be fine”. (This is a big Kenyan term that they love to use often) Every time they said it I again was sure they were just trying to comfort me before my death. I found out later that the medicine I was on had many side effects and one of them being paranoia and causes mind altering thoughts. I had four sets of treatments over the course of 2 and half days. The first one was eight hours long of non stop dripping of this medicine called quinine. 

  

Iv treatment. In an infected hand

 and all! 

 Let me tell you those eight hours were some of the longest and worst. I couldn't talk. I couldn't hear. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't do anything. Nurses and doctors never checked on me. I literally would have been alone in my tiny closet, if it wasn't for my friend Christina. She was able to get the nurses and doctors if I needed them. Those three days were the longest and the most scary days of my life as of now. I had hallucinations in the nights. To this day I still have some huge fears because of these thing. (one of them being hippos haha!) I remember being in a ton of pain and so sick to my stomach I thought I would never eat again. After I got through that first eight hours of treatment I thought to myself, “I can do this” I will get through this but then the pain would hit again and the four hours of break from the treatment would fly by and I would be back to square one. The night before I was suppose to get out of the hospital was the worst. I wanted to rip out my IV. My friend had to keep me from ripping it out. I was going insane. I couldn't sit still I was so anxious and wanted to move but hurt so badly that I couldn't do much. I was sitting there (for the first time) trying to read my bible and couldn't. Not because I didn't want to but because I literally could not focus or concentrate or anything. Christina told me I had been sitting there looking like a crazy person just turning and flipping through my bible like a maniac.

  

Shopping trip back in February!

I can't explain all that I was feeling but one feeling I know was pretty much the most intense feelings of being trapped with fear I have ever felt. I just continued to think that I was at the end of my life. I thought I would never see my family again and constantly prayed that I would be able to see them at least one more time. Side note: In all of this we were suppose to be picking up two friends from the airport that were going to stay with us in Kenya for the last 17 days of our trip. Well instead of being able to pick them up they had to come to the hospital with our Kenyan friend. They were shocked at the conditions and at how I looked. My ears were still ringing and hurting so badly that every sound came through my ears sounded and felt like a freight train. This was not the welcome I had in mind for these girls. They arrived the day I was suppose to get out of the hospital. Well we had to wait a few hours before they would release me from the hospital. At this point I was ready to get out of there and get some fresh air. I still had fears about leaving because I still felt pretty awful. I mean I literally walked out of the hospital the same way I came in (barely moving and shuffling my feet). They didn't run any tests to make sure that I was better but just let me leave and gave me “pain medicine”. They took me back to Stephens families home and I rested and called my family. I was feeling a lot better and thought that I was finally turning a corner.

Road to and from Nairobi! 

The next morning, my first thought when I woke up was “I'm alive”. I saw the sun through the window and my mosquito net and thought again “WOW I AM ALIVE”. It was such a relieving and scary feeling all at once. I didn't know what the next days ahead held for me but I did know I wanted to get back and see the kids and then I wanted to go home. Well after I thought through all of that I went to get out of bed and could barely walk . Every joint in my body ached and my legs, stomach, and back were basically stuck. After a few pain pills I was okay again. Well we traveled back to the children's home. Again, the long excruciating trip back was painful and did I mention, LONG. A new normal for me was that I cried a lot! Once we were back in the orphanage we rested and slept and got eaten again by mosquitoes..again! My mom was looking into switching our flight but was having trouble getting through to the people. At this point, we were 9 days away from our original flight day. So finally I decided just to call the airline and do it. Praise the Lord that He got me through to THE nicest airline person ever! She helped me right there and let me switch Christina and my ticket to the next day!

Saying goodbye to the kids was so hard. Looking at their sobbing faces and knowing what we were leaving them to was painful. There is so much more I could say about that but I wont for now. We traveled all the way back to Nairobi, just 3 days after being at the children's home. The flight home was hard as I was out of pain medicine and only had Tylenol to work off of. Christina wasn't feeling well either and we both just needed to be home. I slept A LOT on the flight thankfully! When I saw my family at the airport I lost it. I just cried and cried. I was emotionally, physically and mentally spent. I couldn't even think straight. We got back to my house and they were all talking but I couldn't even talk. And for me that is a big deal. Haha! My family was shocked to see me how I was... Well I got back and got in my bed and thought to myself “Well God answered my prayer to let me see my family one more time and now I will probably die.” I know this all sounds dramatic but that is literally how my mindset was for months after I got home.

Taken back in February! :)

Let me tell you, God was with me every single step of the way. Your prayers were the peace I felt during those long trips to and from Nairobi. Now after 6 months and looking back at it I forget some of the details and I am actually thankful for that. This year has had many challenges and I have learned so much! This was all so very real to me. Every emotion I felt was real. Every pain I felt was real.

To close, I want to end with three things that I learned through this experience so far.

1. God will give you the peace that passes all understanding when you least expect it. I believe that on those trips to and from Nairobi, God gave me a peace that I cannot explain. I was extremely paranoid because of the medication but there were specific moments I can remember being completely at peace and having a calmness I did not understand. 

2. My faith was completely shaken during this time. I was sure that I was at the end of my life and that I was about to face God numerous times during my sickness and that scared me. I began to think of all the things I did not do right and then I was reminded that it is not our works that save us but by His grace! That he was going to accept me just as I am because I had accepted Him as my savior and had given my life to Him. 

3.  I believe that God has a reason for all things. At this point in time I do not know the exact reason why I got malaria or why it had to be so severe but I do know that God was in control the whole time. I know that God was with me comforting me and loving me.  

I am thankful for those that have prayed for me and kept up with this experience that I have faced. This was definitely one of my most challenging, honest and personal blogs for me but I felt that this story needed to be shared and how God protected, comforted, and guided me and my friend throughout the whole thing. Even if this story would of had a different outcome, God would still be good. He has everything in control no matter what happens. 

"Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

- George Bernard Shaw-

Malaria and Me...Part 1!

Well I figured it is about time I finally sat down and wrote about my experience in Kenya. Many of you supported me through prayer and also financially, so I wanted to give you the chance to hear about my experience. 

This is going to be a very open and honest perspective from me.  It is never easy for me to write  about things that I struggle with but in this story I am going to be real and very open with all of you. To some people this experience would have been a breeze but for me it was traumatic, scary, and shook my faith and everything I believed in. Many people do not talk about malaria and the effects it has on a person so I have decided to describe in detail my experience and all that this disease entails during and after!

 Everything was going very well and I was learning so much about the children and the culture and just everything and absolutely loving it! At the end of February (just a little over 2 months into the trip) I got really sick. Beware here comes the gory details of it all.. haha! Nauseous, chronic diarrhea, pain like I've never felt before, SO fatigued, every muscle and joint in my body hurt, high fevers, night sweats, and so on. So we decided to go to the small clinic (remember we are 9 hours from Nairobi out in a little village). They tested my blood and they diagnosed me with typhoid fever. Two days after I was diagnosed, my friend, Christina, was diagnosed with typhoid as well. After about a week of the medicine I was feeling much better. I was able to go play with the kids and do work around the building! I was so happy to be doing better!

Christina was such a faithful friend sitting
outside my room since it was too
small for her to be in there. 

Two weeks after I was diagnosed with typhoid the real challenges began. (I think I actually had malaria two weeks before and they diagnosed me wrong but I can never be sure) Christina and I woke up feeling very odd with strange headaches and just EXTREMELY tired. So we went to the clinic again and were tested. However, when we went to the clinic this time they had no power so they were unable to do the more “accurate” testing instead  they did a thing called a “rapid malaria test”. It came back positive. We were both diagnosed with malaria. We had to trust the tests and the medicines they gave us and just kinda go for it. The medicine they gave us was to last for three days and the doctor said that after three days we should be feeling better. After the third day I was still SO sick. So much pain. To be honest, I was scared. Well we went back AGAIN to the same clinic and they tested my blood again and said I STILL had malaria and that the medicine didn't work for me which they told me was  VERY rare. Christina was cleared from malaria. So I then had to get an injection of strong medication and then had to take one dose of four pills.  After the shot and medication I was laying on my bed and everything was going dark and I couldn't think straight. In my mind I thought, "well this is it". But a few minutes (maybe longer-not totally sure of the timing) later things started to clear up and I began to actually feel somewhat better. At this point I was able to Skype my family and I thought “oh good I am coming out of this awful sickness and I am going to be fine”. However, in the back of my mind I was still extremely paranoid and scared. (major side effects of the medicines)

Well the next morning I woke up having severe tightness in my stomach and back. I wasn't sure if this was normal or not. All of this was just a guessing game for me because I obviously had never had malaria before. So I was very unsure of what to expect. I had many other symptoms as well but the list would get awfully long. haha! Our bodyguard knew a man who was going to Nairobi to see his family and so we got a hold of him and he drove us 9 hours to Nairobi. That ride was the LONGEST and most painful trip ever. Every bump and swerve and movement we made I could feel throughout my entire body. The entire trip I  kept thinking I was going to die and that there was something even worse wrong with me. I also questioned everything! I began to think how can I truly be saved if my faith is so small? How do other missionaries do this? Was I really willing to give my life to serve Christ anywhere He wanted me? How could I let this happen? And so many more questions that I was really trying to work through amidst the pain.

We arrived in Nairobi at 11pm and stayed at Stephens home. (a man we had never met but I seriously believe he was sent from the Lord! His family was a HUGE blessing! His wife and three kids took care of me and were like family to me) Stephen took me to a hospital and they tested my blood and they told me they were immediately admitting me. I really did not think this was going to happen. I was shocked! They put me in this closet sized room and began treatment right away.....

This is the end of part 1 of my story. On my next blog I will explain those three days in the hospital and the lessons I have learned since then. 

"It is during our darkest moments that

 we must focus to see the light."

-Aristotle-